~P.H.A.T gal talkin~

lagu paling PATHETIC di MUKA BUMI INI

2011-07-08T16:01:00.000-07:00

I will NEVER wait!!! i don't want to be the second best (or third, or fourth , or....) I find this song is demeaning to women...Ku menunggu kau putus dengan kekasihmu???Isn't that is already a prayer..Doakan orang lain merana hanya sebab kau merana???... I know it's just a song but ye pon, dah xde lirik lain ke??? Ku berharap kau berbahagia dgn kekasihmu ka... Ku menunggu lelaki yang baik sepertimu ka...

Let's not talk about the Ella controversy or the catchy tune which makes u wanna la la la. lala lala lala....

ok..emo plak :)

Let me talk to the moon

2011-03-10T16:53:00.000-08:00

2011-03-10T04:26:00.000-08:00

To talk is easy,

but to know whether it is right is hard.

It is easy to talk without having any regards of others.

It is easy to hurt people with words.

Because words are easy and cheap.

And you have been very cheap with your words when you are around me.

Call me sensitive.

Call me silly.

But I am hurt.

By mere words.

Today is a hard day. Called home several time. Konon nya to ease my father's mind. More like easing mine. A hard day for us. We miss her so much. SO many things happened without her. If she is here today, she will be 61. In two days time, 11 years has gone without her. 11 years without her sharing our joy and tears .How can I survive the next 11??How long can I hide behind my stupid jokes and laugh?

Miss

Mak

soooo

much.

Al-Fatihah.

Job Satisfaction

2011-02-23T19:16:00.000-08:00

I have the same thoughts every morning when my alarm wakes me up.
"malasnye"
mcm nak MC la..

Bila la nak rajin nie???
I wonder when will the time comes where I can say,
"Bestnye pegi keje"...
I guess tggu ade jejaka ensem mcm yg diatas dan dibawah ini???

Last night, I had a talk with my on n off 'sleepmate'..hihi..miss naddy (jgn mare)...nway, i terbocorkan rahsie lelaki idaman i..muahhahaha..being a straight woman, i rase xsalah kan if i say i have my own preference..though mostly my preference came from reading mills & boon n all the romances..(the lords and the lairds and the young misses and damsel in distress with their knight in shining armour;P)...

so basically what i said to her is:

"saya nak kahwin dgn hackers...geeky n nerdy but cute"

or if not

"a photographer:not any photographer, but the National Geographic/Discovery Channel type, where they took pictures of lions, volcanoes, lightnings..with a ruggedly looks"

hahaha
All in all...jangan tido lambat sangat, kan dah merapu?

I Want to Marry Bruno Mars

2011-02-21T19:17:00.000-08:00

BOLEH???

[release me...the like]

2011-02-20T22:38:00.000-08:00

2011-02-15T18:50:00.000-08:00

I don't ask much...

All I ask,
respect...xpayah la nak cari kesalahan saya dlm setiap perbuatan dan perlakuan...

all I ask,
silence...xpayah la cakap banyak sangat...

all I ask,
loyalty and honesty...

am i asking too much???

pakcik maidin selalu pesan suruh jaga hati orang...
tapi hati saya sape yg jage???
xde kan???
kalau xnak jage takpe...
tapi jangan sakitkan boleh???

2011-02-08T07:06:00.000-08:00

It is not a happy feeling...

It was gooey...clammy...n my heart beats like it never beats before...

It was wrong...

because i don't want it...

i want to feel nothing at this moment...

so that i wont feel d pain...

d pain...

d dissapoinment...

d frustation...

that comes with every single feeling...

currently stuck with a problem..ok, 2. ok more than i can count on...

but d most important thing...

i hope...

n

i pray to Allah s.w.t that they will come to their senses...

Kenape Perlu Tengok!

2010-12-15T20:30:00.000-08:00

Kenape perlu tengok
HAntu Kak Limah Balik Rumah???

1. Sebab die BEST SANGAT2

2. Sebab die KLAKA SANGAT2

3. Sebab die penuh dgn sindiran yang mmg membuatkan kite terkesima dan terpikir

4. Walaupon luarannya nampak mcm merapu and serabut, tetapi penuh dgn hidden meaning yg sggh intelektual

5. Sebab shoot n guna BAHASA PERAK...
(awak org Perak!)

6. MAmat Khalid memang genius!!! Filem2 seperti Rock, MAn LAksa, Rombongan Che Kiah ke Komanwel, Zombie Xmengecewakan langsung! (Ini je filem die aku tgk)

7. Rase mcm mau tgk lagi!!!

8. Walaupon setiap kali KAk Limah keluar aku tutup mate (cuz aku tido sengsorg) tp nk gak tgk lagi cite ini!!! (aku xsuke tido sengsorg!!!)

9. Sangat2 sukekan watak si Usop bekas penari Kebudayaan itu!!!mmg mantap!

Sape belom tgk, sile tengok n support lah filem Melayu yg bermutu seperti ini!!! Xpayah nk ade keta2 laju, pompuan sexy...org kampung jek pon dah cukop bagus!!!

Saya Masih Disini

2010-12-13T16:36:00.000-08:00

In a way, I should be grateful, right? Everything happens for a reason, and there must be a reason why I did not get the transfer. Now, for sure, 1oo percently, I know I will go on with the Master thing. Before this, I have doubts. Thinking what if I'm to be transferred to Penang or Kulim. Then it will quite far for me to go to KL every week.
But still I could not help but to shed a few tears. (more than a few actually!) I want to be closer to my father and sister. I hate sleeping alone at night (ok I now this is ridiculous;P)
The only thing that is making me ok here is my friends...
Other than that, NIL.

:(

Decisions

2010-11-25T07:24:00.000-08:00

I don't know whether I am happy or not.

In a way, yes, I am happy. And I am lucky. Not everyone will got the chance.

But still, it's looking a little bit complicated here.

I want to be closer to my father. There is no doubt there. But it is not confirmed yet whether i'll get the transfer. What if i don't and all i do is to wait. I might be staying here for a verrry long time.I might get older without moving on, not doing anything worthwhile in this life? And if I refuse, and wait, I might not get another offer like this anymore.

But, am I ready for this? It will be hectic after this. And not to mention in financial wise. Obviously, I'm not ready in that area. But, when will i be ready if i keep waiting. KAN???

Owh, i wish someone can tell me what should do.

I wish someone can give me a good advice.

No.

I wish someone to make the decision for me.

So that one day I won't regret any of it.

Ya Allah, Kau berikanlah petunjuk pada hamba-Mu yang lemah lagi hina ini.

I Miss You

2010-11-24T17:44:00.000-08:00

When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
Here's what she said to me.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera

What will be, will be.

This is a song my Mak used to sing for me. (in Tamil version of course).
I miss her. So much, that it hurts. It makes my heart ache. It makes me want to cry and never stop.
It's been a long time since someone hug me. I missed the warmth of her hug. Her sweet smell. In her hug, I know I'll always be safe.

I miss her.

Penang Bridge Marathon 2011, wait for me!!!

2010-11-22T23:38:00.000-08:00

Me n Mas

Yeap, I did it. I managed to finish my 10km run in 1:42:51. That is something for someone like me! U know, not fit, beginner, not enough training. And I was only walking, though i walk non-stop.Yeah, that is something. I just exceed 12 mins 51 sec! And the best part is I'm not the last one to arrive! hehe...

Now, I'm excited to join more marathons. Hehe..even though my body ache all over (until now actually), muscles strain etc, but I still would love to do it! Though i'll practice and train more before going!

Going to Penang for the marathon is the moment i'll cherished always. There were a few doubting Thomas when I said i'm going for a marathon. It is quite funny when people are sceptical and so criticising for things even they don't do. Instead of saying 'mesti boleh', they were saying 'boleh ke'? Why?Just because i'm fat? That doesn't mean I can't do something at all! But I guess, that it is part of the fun kot??? People insulted you and you get the chance to show them wrong?

I would like to thank my friend and 'coach' Cik Mas for her support. Pas nie kite g lagi ye Mas :) Kenangan memori daun pisang meredah hujan sebelum nak marathon akan menjadi kenangan terindah. Walaupon not enough good looking guys for us to feed our eyes on (hehehe) but we still had fun! So much fun!

me after 7km...masih boleh tersenyum manja walaupon terketaq2... ;p

our beloved Lunarfly ;)

Now, I'm more excited to do stuffs. My resolution of doing things I've never done in my life still stands!

What is next?

i want to travel!!!

2010-11-08T18:05:00.000-08:00

At late, the only thing that interest me is travel!Technically, aku tak travel mane pon lagi, but i really really reallllly want to travel, go to all those exotic places. A friend of mine, Cik Mas introduce me to a backpacker blog not to mention lonely planet!! (dgn malunye aku taktau lonely plaenet ade mags, slalu ingat kat tv jek!) and skarang, keje aku buka airasia n bercite2 nk travel around the world!Agak sukar untuk mengingatkan Miss FB supaye berpijak di bumi yg nyata..hehe..dahla duit dlm akaun Maybank xde kan (kalau nk beli tiket pon) n infact, she does not own a credit card!!
Adoi.....xde ke nak dapat cabutan bertuah menang 10 ribu ke??? (cukupla 10ribu, taknak banyak2 pon)...Ayayai!xpelah..selow2 dulu kn??(ayat sedap hati sendiri!)

My running bib no is K67093~

2010-11-03T21:13:00.000-07:00

Running bib ape? you might ask. Well, I don't know whether i've mentioned here but resolution is to try things at least once in my life. And in 2 weeks time, I'm going for a marathon! Penang Bridge International Marathon 2010 to be exact!Am I up for it? NO! heehee :) I've started running (or walking to be more exact!) a couple of weeks ago and it is a torture!! After a long time of being lazy and FAT, my body; or more specifically my legs (ankle) are definitely having a hard time adjusting to this new routine. But I'm not giving up! Not even when I'm the last person to arrive! Hehe ;)

Well, I'm off to Taiping in few minutes. Did not plan to go back pon but I really miss my dad n my sister..Hehe..bile berjumpe gaduh..Bile jauh rindu :P

2010-10-15T07:44:00.000-07:00

Why is it so hard for people to understand that I have needs as well.

Why some people have this kind of thinking where when they did not have something, I should not have it as well? I'm being impatient because I'm scared. What if I don't live to see tomorrow. What if there will be no chance for me to pursue my dreams. I just want to live my life. I am sorry if I'm not responsible enough. Or not responsible at all. I'm just tired living my life, waking up doing the same thing over and over. I am sorry that you don't understand me at all.

Why money must be everything???

2010-10-11T00:45:00.000-07:00

I am physically and mentally exhausted.
......

2010-09-18T04:42:00.000-07:00

I hate this feeling. And I hate that person. Saye menyampah.

2010-09-07T01:05:00.000-07:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI
MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN

i have no words~
later k :)

"Love someone who loves you." -If u love someone, let them go. If they never come back, they were never yours...

2010-08-21T22:41:00.000-07:00

So i decided that I'm letting go this feeling.
 Because I realized, it is just an infatuation.
And even it is love, I'll still let it go.
Because I think you deserve someone better.
And I deserve someone who is not afraid.
Because when you stop saying words to me.
And when I stop giving you glances.
So I decided maybe this is not real.
...........
........
.....
...
..

So I decided that I'll pray for your happiness,
And in return hoping that you'll do the same
Because
It seems that
even though
we never speak with each other
Our hearts speak
and
decides
we should
let
go
.

Satu Ramadhan

2010-08-17T20:59:00.000-07:00

Yeap..It's my first day of fasting today. Lupe plak berpuase, asyik bercakap jek. And now, i'm soooo thirsty eventhough it is just 12 pm. Alamak, lambat lagi ke berbuke?It's quite challenging sbb my cough is still there and going bad...huhu..so i guess x bolei le berbuke dgn ketulan ais yg enak itu!!!

My life is so chaotic at this moment. My head actually. Banyak sangat yang perlu difikirkan. Banyak sangat hati yang perlu dijaga. Kenapa xde sape nak jaga hati saye?Is it not worth to be take care off???

We embrace the flaws and faults of our love so that when they leave, we won't smile with regret...

2010-08-15T18:58:00.000-07:00

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now, wish right now
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now, Wish right now

B.O.B. ft Hayley Williams

I made a mistake when I make something out of nothing.
It was nothing.
Nothing to think at all.
Nothing to start with.
Nothing to end with.
I was in La La Land.
Me and stupid dreams.

Being Lonely

2010-08-12T17:33:00.000-07:00

I need another story

Something to get off my chest

My life gets kinda boring

Need something that i can confess

Secret 'One Republic'

This is one of the self-pitying post. I just came back to Merlimau after 6 days break with my family at Taiping. And the only thing that creeping in my head is that 'I Hate It Here!' I feel so lonely even if I'm surrounded by many people. At home, eventhough it is just me and Dad, I felt happy and content.

.....

....

...

Or maybe I'm trying hard not to be lonely.

Maybe I just should live my life as it is.

I crave for adventurous and exotic life. (Blame it on all the novels I read)

Maybe I should accept the fact that my life is meant to be dull.

Fullstop.

......

....

...

I want to quit job and travel the world.

..................................................................

for many things

2010-08-10T06:21:00.000-07:00

and I'm definitely happy that this someone won't be around for a month. Nyah kau...hehe..Anyway, my 'bestfriend' came for a visit this afternoon so won't be fasting for the next 7 days. So sad because I was so looking forward to go to Tarawih this evening. Xde rezeki :(

I was so hoping that my 'bestfriend' won't be coming like the previous year where I don't have to go through the hassle of 'ganti pose' :) I guess this is for being so 'blagak' kan?hahaha...

.....

...

Well, I want to wish all our Muslim brothers and sisters a blessed Ramadhan. Semoga Ibadah kite diterime-Nya. Amin.

WishList

2010-08-03T20:17:00.000-07:00

Saye mmg banyak wishlist! Hehe.. I want a lot of things in life. And one of them is to play tennis! I don't know why tapi teringin sangat sangat sangat nk main tenis. How I wish I have someone to tutor me! Yep, sy nk blajar main betul2. Bukan suke2. Tp skrg rase mcm dh tua sngat kalau baru stat nk blaja. Huhu..

Thank You

2010-08-02T06:02:00.000-07:00

I could not help but to notice that I have a lot of people who cares about me. Especially about my weight! Funny thing that I never really try to spend my day thinking about how fat I am. I have other people to do it to me. See how lucky I am? Sometimes, the way they say it out loud bring tears to my eyes because I was touched with all the concerns. For example : "Eh, boleh masuk ke?" "Muat ke?"

I mean, where else you can find this kind of concerns?

I am blessed and very grateful for it.

F

A

T

and

L

O

V

I

N

G

IT!!!

XoXoXo

~P.H.A.T gal out~

Kenapa Hari Ini Sudah Isnin?

2010-08-01T19:14:00.000-07:00

I have nothing against Monday. It is coming to work on Monday after a very very very short break that I have problem with. I have 3 classes on Monday. And pepagi buta nie one class manage to increase my blood pressure. I was never that rude when I was studying at Uni. You don't say 'tertido' dgn selamba badaknya when you were asked why you were absent...If I were to write about the moral of our student (and people around us these days, sampai tahun depan pon xabeh).

My weekend was tiring but good. I was involved in konvo after all! Huhu.. Menjadi penghulur sijil atas pentas. Xcomel pon terpaksa men'comel'kan diri! Haha..And then after that went for a movie with a couple of girlfriends. Watch The Sorcerer's Apprentice. It was quite boring and tasteless for me.Hehe..If you were talking about magic, why must have science?And the ending was so like Dragon Ball. And the Apprentice mcm lalok 24/7. I love Nicholas Cage though! He is brilliant!

The next day went for another movie with the same girlfriends ;) This time around we watched Salt. It was good! Better than Apprentice for me! Walaupon bnyk unsur2 'x blei tahan' but still bearable. It is pretty 'amazing' that jatuh atas trak but all the bones are still intact. One thing I like is that I never anticipate who's the badass was! And I hope there will be no sequel. Hehe.. Let it be left mysteriously!

Panjang la ngomel harini... There are few movies that I really really want to watch! Takers, Airbenders, The Expendables, The Other Guys. Erm, sesape nak pegi tue, bawak lah saye..Hehe..Saye tak kesah!!!

Till later..Daaaaa..

(erm ade meeting pukul 12..^yawn^..one more reason why I hate Monday!)

P/S: Thanks to my girlfriends...you know who you are:) Lenkali kite buat lagi ok? Muaaksss...

XoXoXo

TGIF

2010-07-29T18:28:00.000-07:00

Sampai juga hari JUmaat yg mulia ini. Been waiting for it since last Sunday..hehe..Tiap2 minggu pon macam itu.So, what MY plan this weekend. Kemas bilik yg dah boleh sorok dinasour tue..hehe..very unimaginative tapi nak buat cemane. My housemate is involved with the Konvo and this time around I'm not. Thank God for that.. ;) Nak tgk The Sorcerer's Apprentice but on hold first. Nak g ngan sape kan? Anyone care to join me? Made a plan with a girlfriend but not sure yet...Rase mcm nk makan Auntie Annie's pretzel yg celop dlm ceklat tue..Nyum...

Had fun with a few of my opismate yesterday. Buka puase sesame (tp saye xpose!)..Quite full after a plateful of Nasi Ayam Penyet Lampongan and a glass of ayer asam boi..Double Yummy! Thanks for K.Sha, Mas and K.Diha. Thank you for making me laugh so hard. Muakss..XoXo ;P

I don't know what happened but I was quite happy when I woke up this morning. Of course, the feelings does not last long but still, i like it. It feels like all my dreams are coming true and all I have to do is wait. Feels like it will be a momentous day for me. Hehe..MAinan perasaan je tu. But I like the feeling. Tak kisah la kalau xbetul pon. It just make me feel goooood :)

"Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or... learn from it." (dukun citer Lion King cakap nie).. And he is right! At this moment, i'm running from something instead of confronting the problem.Ayayai...where my guts dude?

Saye Tidak Suke

2010-07-28T19:33:00.000-07:00

Banyak benda yg tidak saye suke berlaku kepade saye. (terutamanya akhir2 ini)

1) Saye tidak suke masuk campur tp org masuk campur kan saye.

2) Saye tidak suke perasaan ini, tp perasaan ini hadir jugak dlm diri saye ini.

3) Saye tidak suke mendengar tapi telinga ini terpaksa mendengar.

4) Saye tidak suke membayangkan, tetapi bayangan itu hadir jugak dlm diri saye ini.

5) Saye tidak suke, tidak suke, tidak suke dan tidak suke.

Very immature of me.

I know.

Tapi nak buat macam mana. This is the real me. I'm stupid. Foolish. Selfish. Immature. Childish. Ugly. Fat/P.H.A.T ;)

Care to add anything?

............................................................

On a different note, a few days back, i wrote an entry called Cloudy days. Googled for cloudy pictures and post it here. But at night, when I open this blog, the cloudy picture turn into a weird man face!!takut i. n dengan segeranya mendelete picture itu. Walawei. My blog is haunted kah??? Jangan la..Kat mana lagi nk luahkan perasaan karang..

I really want to go back home and stay with my dad T_T Miss him so much and i know he would love to have me there. (ke aku yg prasan?)..

"Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind."

2010-07-27T07:28:00.000-07:00

Hurm, i didn't know what to make of you.

One minute you are friendly and the next minute you give me the cold shoulder.

P/S: The heading is a quote from Shakespeare. Wise man he was....

Cloudy Days

2010-07-27T00:09:00.000-07:00

To be honest, it was not a good day for the past few days.
It feels like a dark cloud always following me everywhere.
I wish things will turn out differently.
Words are left unspoken.
No hard feelings.
But i can't.
All it left is for me to move forward.
And try to make sure everyone understand why it had happened.
And I hope for that sunny day.

not feeling well

2010-07-26T19:21:00.000-07:00

Alhamdulillah. I had an uninterrupted sleep last night.Haven't got a good sleep since the paranormal thing. But woke up with an uneasiness. I'm not feeling good and well at this moment. Feels like vomiting. My head feels so heavy. My stomach is churning.

Hurm..Mahu diri di manja boleh?

Wishlist

2010-07-26T06:15:00.000-07:00

One of my wishlist.

Anyone care to buy them for me?

Hehe;)

Dalam Mimpi Ada Mimpi Ada Lagi Mimpi Dan Lagi Ada Mimpi

2010-07-25T23:14:00.000-07:00

This is one brilliant movie! Leonardo is a genius as usual and the other casts are awesome as well. Walaupon agak memeningkan but I still love it!!!!

Be

careful

what

you

dream

of
...............................................

and Friday is here...

2010-07-22T21:05:00.000-07:00

Hurm..rajin plak nk berbelog 2-3 menjak nie..nk kate idea mencurah2 x..but I guess there are a lot of things that I want to say... and yet there are lot of things that I could not put in words...Matter of heart is so heavy to think of. So painful. So confusing.

Enough talking about my heart.Hehe..Eventually, it wiil worn out and then I can live normally. (ye ke?)

Friday is here...Will have a quiet weekend. Doing laundry. Relaxing. Nothing much..Really want to watch Inception but no want to watch with..Xpelah..Never know what will happen, right?

Venus Girl

2010-07-22T19:14:00.000-07:00

I miss my friend.
Haven't talk with her for months. 
Haven't seen her for more than months.
I know she is busy with her new life.
Exam is coming.
She has a lot to learn.
I shouldn't bother her.
I miss the old time.
Where we use to write to each other.
I know we don't have much time with each other.
Our perspective change as we grow up.
You, for the better.
And I... :)
Well, 
I have said it.
I miss my friend.
You know who you are Venus Girl:)
Good luck in your new career.
My thoughts are always with you.

to all my friends..i love u guys too..u make my life hundred times better :)

The Sixth Sense

2010-07-21T19:11:00.000-07:00

Apparently, the whole polytechnic is attacked by paranormal activities. And for me who is staying at the kuarters tu, memacam ler citer yg kuar.

Haven't got a decent sleep since last week. My head feel heavy. And not to mention my cranky mood. Haish..

Yesterday, I woke up at midnight and did not sleep unti 4.30 am. Adeh. I wish I can call someone to talk to because I felt lonely as well. But everyone that I know I can call is sleeping and it will be selfish of me if I bother them.

Takpelah. I will try my best to stay strong. And I can only pray to Allah S.W.T hoping for the best and mintak jauhkan dari gangguan syaitan ini. Amin.

Rasulullah s.a.w memerintahkan daku dengan bersabda: "Hendaklah engkau memohon perlindungan Allah daripada angkara syaitan-syaitan manusia dan jin". Aku pun meminta penjelasan Baginda s.a.w, dengan berkata: "Ya Rasulullah! Adakah manusia juga menjadi syaitan-syaitan?" Baginda menjawab: "Ya! Benar!".
Abu Zar r.a

Parenthood

2010-07-21T01:19:00.000-07:00

These day, I enjoyed watching Parenthood. (Since Glee finished it's final episode for Season 1-could not wait for Season 2!). Anyway, back to Parenthood, as usual, Miss FB here sah2 will be attracted to one of the guy in that drama kan!

.

Mr Cyr:walaupon hanya guest but still can make me swoon when he is trying to pursue Sarah Braverman..
(lurrvve his scruffy look~)

Yup..my entry today is only about how smitten I am with his role in this drama..Muahahaha:)

Being Silly

2010-07-20T02:44:00.000-07:00

Romancing Mr Bridgerton by Julia Quinn is one of my favourite. I always compare myself with Penelope Featherington, the heroine of this book. She is a wallflower, unpopular and the one they say will never marry. She is, by the society standard, not beautiful (ugly sound so harsh) and a confirmed spinster. And yes, that how i look myself

In this book, Penelope loves Colin Bridgerton for a long time. Unfortunately, he took a long time as well to return the feeling. But when he did, he do it right. It is no suprise if I say that I'm waiting for my own Colin Bridgerton. Someone who looks me in the eye and said

"I don't know. I don't know when, I don't know how, and to be honest, I don't care. But i know this much is true: I love you, and I hate myself for not seeing the real you all these years."

This is a wistful thinking from my part. Huhu..I know there is no Mr Bridgerton who will say

"I don't think you changed. At least not very much.But then one day I realized I was seeing something different when I looked at you. Maybe I changed.Maybe I grew up."

I know I'm being silly. But I think being silly is the best thing I do. Anyhow, as much as it is a fairy tale, I still love this book very much. After all Penelope have been through, she deserves it.

And for me?

It's ok.

We never know right?

Maybe MY Mr Bridgerton is right in front of me and I did not notice it.

Hehe.

It's Ok. Take your time.

Like Penelope, I'll be waiting ;)

~The Kite Runner~

2010-07-19T18:40:00.000-07:00

Stay up late last night, reading The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. The book moves me deeply, differs from the books I usually interested with. Different from all the romances and happily ever after.It awakens me like no other. Hassan's love and loyalty to Amir makes me cry. I could not escaped the sob and tears and wonder, is there anyone out there who will sacrifice that much in the name of friendship? In the name of love? The world seems so cruel and unfair. That Hassan's son meet the same fate as his father, with the same evil man. I know I'm a little late, where the rest of the world have read the book a few years back! But I'm glad that I read this book. Cleanse me in a way nobody will understand. Open my eyes to the world far away. Where here I broad over petty matters, the world out there is suffering from disease worst than death. Greed, lust is taking over humanity. And I will try my best not to fall in the same web. Insya Allah.

Ya Allah, Kau berikanlah kekuatan kepada hambaMu ini. Amin.

Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda yang bermaksud:”Bukankah aku telah memberitahu kamu semua tentang orang yang diharamkan masuk ke neraka atau orang yang diharamkan ke atasnya neraka? Mereka ialah orang yang berdamping rapat dengan orang ramai (baik pergaulannya), hatinya tenang, berlemah lembut serta mudah dibawa berunding.”

Riwayat at-Tarmizi

Hurt dan Benci

2010-07-18T23:51:00.000-07:00

I'm tired being stuck with inconsiderate people. It's about time i stop being a people pleaser. I'm tired of people who treat me like a heartless statue. I have feelings ok. If you can be sensitive when someone did something, i do too. The world does not only revolve around you.

Being Greedy

2010-07-13T18:37:00.000-07:00

I know i should be grateful with what i have now. I have a family that i love (though maybe i don't show it much), i have a job (though i dislike it-hate is a strong word) , every end of the month i got my salary and manage to buy things that i like (mostly books), i have friends (thank GOD for friends), i have people who hates me (and vice versa). So all in all, i should be happy or at least content with what i am now.

But no, i have to be greedy and being content is not enough for me. i want drama, excitement, love,lust. I am greedy.

On the happier note, i finally got my car license. Hehe, it took me more than 3 years actually. But to tell the truth, I'm not confident enough to drive. It seems so complicated. .

X Reti Nak Menjala

2010-06-17T18:07:00.000-07:00

Today, Miss FB woke up at 5.30 am to cook roti jala and kari ayam! Hehe..terlebih rajin kan. Sebab tu nak punch pon lagi seminit pukul 8! Berlari2 jugak la!Alhamdulillah, skrg dah kenyang. Tapi bile dah kenyang, mengantuk lah pulak:)

Cooking Frenzy

2010-06-16T22:02:00.000-07:00

Erm..bukan nye saye main game ye tp skrang Miss FB nie suke sangat cari resepi n nak masak. Huhhuhu...Nak kate sedap sangat tak le..hehe..Today i brought Puding Oreo to the opis..erm, boleh la..though i still think here is something i can do to make it better. I'd copy a lot of recipes!! Tggu nak buat je..Yg susah nye sbb i don't have an oven..Nak beli, xde pulus!!Huhu..xpela..we will see how long this cooking season will last!!

How to Deal With Annoying People

2010-05-18T17:10:00.000-07:00

Itu tajuk baru buku aku. In the process of researching for the facts and details. Because people, can be really damn Annoying and Irritating!

oWh...BOSAN~

2010-03-18T00:15:00.000-07:00

Bosan..Yup, that's the right word to describe my feelings right now. It's been one whole day of spent doing nothing.Well, not actually nothing. Fill my time by downloading songs for my new 'baby'..thehehe..
Reach Merlimau this morning at 1am. So obviously i'm soooo sleepy.... Seronoknye balik rumah. I wish my holiday will be longer but need to save my leaves..Banyak lagi cuti nak diambil..Spend the time by helping PakCik Maidin at the kitchen, lazying around (the best part!), watched Alice in Wonderland (Johny Depp sure makes our live inriguing, eh?) and bought a new ...

n yes..in pink!!hehe...
Next week, students naik cuti..malasnyer...urgh..

WewEWewE

2010-03-11T21:53:00.000-08:00

It's hard to find my creative outlet this days..Days spent gazing at the PC, waiting for the food to cook(yup, i can play Cafe World now!), marking the quizzes which is A LOT! or sometimes, thinking why the world is acting like this. Everyday, I vow to myself not think about anything that can make me mad or annoyed. But I am a normal human. I'm no angel.

Today, I have a "pengacaraan Majlis" course. Why on earth, someone who is terrified even thinking about standing at the front join this kind of course? Well, I really want to improve myself. I'm tired being a coward. I always dream of being worldly and say things without worrying to much on it. I just want to be FREE. I'm not saying that I had improved, but I'm learning. I'm far away from being perfect, but I'll try....

I'm going back tonight! Yeay

...Home sWeeT Home...
Happy HoLiDay y'aLL

2010-02-02T23:25:00.000-08:00

Just finish with my DEM6 class. This heat make both me an the whole class in no mood of studying. Alahai. How is that so? Pensyarah nye 2x5 je... I really need to do something fast so that they won't loose interest..Macam mane nie??Ayayai..Miss FB menemui jalan buntu!

Daring Myself to Speak

2010-02-01T20:17:00.000-08:00

Went to a public speaking course yesterday called Dare to Speak! Those who know me well, knows how suck i am when it comes to public speaking. I really don't know where all the nervousness come from. Anyway, this course is a continuation from my pronunciation course that i went with Leen. But this time around, there were 21 of us(Toastmasters club members). All of us have to speak about ourselves and of course, yours truly here freeze before she have to speak.

PMM Toastmasters Club( missing a few members there) with En Azmi Shahrin, our trainer.

Sleepy

2010-01-25T20:48:00.000-08:00

~Miss FB is sleepy~
nak balik rumah, kelas pukul 2.
tidak mempunyai maya untuk ke kelas.
drowsy.

2010-01-14T23:26:00.000-08:00

Beyond relief. Happy? Of course..I've been thinking very hard how to approach the bos about my duty as the lab supervisor, the bos came to me and said about releasing me from my asset duty. And then I realized, this is the time.So I told him I want to stick with my asset duty and release the lab. And he agreed!!I'm so happy!!!What the big deal anyway, some might think. But it is to me. I don't think that I'm the suitable person for it. And some other stuffs as well. Anyway, I just want to focus with what I have to right now. Next week, teaching and learning process will begin. I hope I can cope with it and still do other stuffs that I enjoy doing. Hurm, I don't think my weekend will be as good as anyone else. Both days are packed and I will for sure be so tired :(

2010-01-11T21:27:00.000-08:00

Ok.I have to admit, one of the reason why i did not update my blog is this.

And now, it has been blocked. Quite stressed up because this thing had been an outlet for me to release my stress. But in the other hand, it's a good thing because i can focus on my mounting workload.. This MQA MQF thingy really makes it harder for everything else. No more taking questions from the SPM book..:) Tomorrow ade exam. Exam aper?hehe, takmau kasitau lagi. Kalau lulus baru nak kasitau. Kalau tak, malu!!!

2010-01-10T18:25:00.000-08:00

Kembali

I'm back to the arena:) Not going to state the obvious by saying it's been quite a while (so cliche kan?) hehe.. i've been around, lots of thing happens for the past few months that i don't know where to start. So i decided not to write any of it:) Penat la..Lagipon, cerite lame. Kite tutup buku. Lets open a new book and this will be my first chapter! Boleh? It is 11th of January and it is not to late to say Happy New Year!! New Year resolution? Well, i don't really make it a habit to wait for a year to start on something new. If you want to do something, just do it and get it done. Betul tak?

Classes will start next week. Have to teach the semester 2 and 6 students this semester. It is funny when i 've to teach students to write resume when me myself never ever written a resume before. Or application letter. Hurm, banyak lah jugak benda yg Miss FB xpandai!!!

Owh yeah, one more thing. I've to join the Toastmasters club where basically it is about talking..Miss FB speaking in public?hurm, i can predict my future when it come to public speaking. I got nervous. Then i'll keep rolling my eyes. Then i'll start saying something stupid. Argghhh...Not to mention i'm the secretary of the club. Saye xpandai buat minit. I have a short attention span. I'm a bad listener. Nice:)

I will try my best to do all this thing coming to me. Dah name pon keje makan gaji kan? I just hope people won't judge me so much if I make a mistake. Though, to think about it, I'm the only who is doing the judging here.

I want to be free

P/S: One of the reason of me updating is for you my friend NazLin:) See, i didn't curse at all.

2009-11-16T21:00:00.000-08:00

Finally, I'd reach the first 25 years of my life.

Alhamdulillah.

I'm getting lazier with my words this days..adoi..

Not In The Right Track

2009-11-03T19:10:00.000-08:00

Kinda sad when looking to my previous entries..Banyak marah kat orang je..aish

IN A WAY TO BE A BETTER PERSON

2009-10-29T02:03:00.000-07:00

~Phase Of Life~

2009-10-25T20:38:00.000-07:00

Usually, when we reach certain age of life, we automatically decided that we should grow up, be a more mature person then we ever been before, and be a better person. You know, not to involve with any kind of 'school drama' where instead of dealing with the problem, we run from it. Honestly, the first thing I've thought when I first started working is not to mess with anyone and not to let anyone messing with me. Unfortunately, it didn't happen. And it is funny when in 7 months, both my 'former' housemate move out without any sense of dignity and maturity. Hohoho, don't misinterpret me when you read that I managed to run out my housemates. I'm not some Madame Cruella here. I solely believe that I'm not the reason they move. It really doesn't matter whether they are moving out or not , but the way they doing it. Like some coward without any sense(again) dignity and maturity.And to exagarrate a small tiny miniscule problem.Funny..

It really suprise me when people manage to create a whole different story out of nowhere. But, I believe in everything happens for a reason: a better reason. All in all, I should say good riddance right?

now, it

just

and

Zati.

Praying to Allah S.W.T.,

hopefully

both of us can tolerate with each other and handle everything with maturity. Zati, don't worry, if ever i want to move out from the house,I'll mention it to you since you are sort of the landlady. Insya Allah.

~Funny isn't it, when you are licking your own spit. You asking the help from the very person you cursed and badmouthed. Tsk tsk.

Di Saat Tanganku Ringan untuk Melempang

2009-10-22T01:19:00.000-07:00

Aku teringat pesanan PakCik Maidin:

Sabar,

Sabar

Oleh itu,

I'm trying to be patient here.

And remember,

you don't have to get involved with it.

You can ignore it because

bliss.

Trust your conscience.

You are here to work and mencari rezeki.

So don't let your focus stray.

Miss FB??

What I'm Feeling Right Now...

2009-10-21T00:56:00.000-07:00

What I'm feeling right now?

Crying my heart out.

Why?

When I first start here, I never thought it will be like this. I was full with enthusiasm, hoping that I will be passionate with my job and will face any challenges.

Unfortunately, NO. After 6 months, I feel like i've been crash and burnt. Tried to please everyone but end up getting myself hurt; and it is painful.

Can I just make a shout out and say :Tolong jangan buli saye?

Saya manusia biasa yang mempunyai hati dan perasaan. Mungkin luaran saya macam seseorang yang tidak kisah, tapi itu cara saya menutup kelemahan rendah diri saya.

I want to be alone

but

John Donne said

No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent.

Another Self-Pity Entry

2009-10-07T20:02:00.000-07:00

Inas, this is the continuum of my feelings from last night message.

It seems that everyone that i know is getting engaged, married or pregnant. And no, there is nothing wrong with it. Of course I'm happy for them. By the way LInda, congratulation!! I still can't imagine you as a wife and now you going to be a 'Mummy'? So happy for you and seriously, I want to see your big tummy nanti k?!

So lets go back to my self pity. As much as I'm happy for everyone else, there is one tiny-not-so-tiny side of me could not help but to feel sad. As everyone is actually moving on in their lives, I'm still here, the same old, same old me. I feel that I'm standing staticly, not moving, just stay there like a statue and watch the world go by. What had happen actually?

Of course, it is not that i'm desperate to get married NOw!I want to have all the Mills and Boon and Harlequin's romances. Loves at first sights. Or trouble but end up living happily ever after. Go on a date. Have fights over something ridiculous but making amends with laughter later.

Is it wrong to wish like that?Or am I simply being ridiculously desperate here?Hurm..

~Thinks that imperfection makes one perfect~

Middle of the Week

2009-10-06T22:34:00.000-07:00

I've been called "lurus bendul" and "skema" by one of the senior lecturer today. It's kinda funny actually. And sad as well. I mean name calling like that (in front of my face sumore!). It's not that I want show to people that I'm doing a great job or what-so-ever. Hurm. We are having a lecturer evaluation by the students and it is strictly forbidden for us to evaluate ourselves. Unfortunately, the lecturer who is supposed to evaluate my class thinks that my classes are so 'tinggi'(well, now you know how I feel-all the 3rd and 4th floors and no pounds were shedded). And now she want me to do it myself without mentioning it to anyone else. But what make me so 'angin' is the words she used. 'Lurus bendul' and skema? hey, I do live up with the rules are meant to be broken but come on..this is just a simple matter. Bukan nye every week you have to come to my so high classes pon...Seriously?Bukan nak mengajo pon!!!Jangan lah disebabkan awak saye yg terkantoi. Dahla Miss FB nie kalau nak buat something yg tahap mikro punye kesalahan pon mesti kantoi. Alahai..Sape nak tolong evaluate kelas saye nie???

Sekembalinya Diriku Ke Pejabat

2009-09-28T21:39:00.000-07:00

Dang..Cepatnye masa berlalu and now i'm back to the office. Manage to get an MC yesterday because I'm sooooooooo tired.(and not in the mood to face people). Thought of sleeping the whole day but can't, unfortunately, because people kept calling me about minor details for the debate. Though i have to admit, i'm kinda good of becoming an operator. Should just change my profession because i really, totally hate my current job. ~lalaala~

As much as i love to indulge in my self-pity, life must go on.

EVeryone is talking about their raya break..Miss FB nak cerite pasal ape??? Letak gambar je boleh??Hehe..
.

Gambar2 diambil di rumah Miss FB, Cik Inas n AYu.

Seronak jumpe kawan2 lama macam Dahlia,Wani n Dylla and yang tak berape lame macam Ayu, Dayah n my fellow blog comrade, Inas.

Menjelang Satu Syawal..

2009-09-16T17:07:00.000-07:00

Few more days before we end this lovely Ramadhan...(eventhough there were some 'moments', but still lovely)..What I really looking forward to is to go home and meet Daddy and my sis. I have a few plans as soon as I reach my lovely Taiping :) Have plan to 'serbu' people house with my fellow Venus gal, eat my Dad superb prawn sambal ;p , meet a few friends, REST and not thinking about the debat tournament that will be held the week after Raya (aaarghhh!!!) and not thinking about my FRP (Fail REkod Pensyarah=Forever Resuming Pressure) and also watch The Ugly Truth and Final Destination 4.

Insya Allah. Pray for my safety. I'm going back tonight with the one and only: The BUs...It is kind of depressing to go to work when most of the gang in the opis oledi when back to their hometown. Even the bosses pon dah balik:(

...It is Ok...few hours more for me before I reach Tepeng...

Well, i would like to use this opportunity to wish Salam AidilFitri and Maaf Zahir Batin to those who stumble upon my humble blog here..Drive safely and have a blessed day with your love ones..muaksssss.

It's Only 11.08am

2009-09-02T20:08:00.000-07:00

Defenitely not my day...Punch card merah arini..and only 1 minute late!!! arghhhh..the second one for this month..yours truly gotta be extra early la plak pasnie..

Then...my favourite new shoe terputus due to the stupid tiling renovation nie!!arghhhhhhhhh...It's NEW ok..If Najib xkasik bonus I'll be doomed cuz i need another NEW shoe!!!

And not to mention the pounding headache T_T

And now it is 11.12 am...urgh...

Kesejukan...

2009-09-01T23:32:00.000-07:00

I'm so cold...

Besides that, i'm quite angry. What am i angry about? Let me list it out.

1. Sesampainya ke opis, keja macam banyak. Salah satunye kena key-in attendance budak kat pmis. Ianya satu sistem yang menyusahkan teramatlah sangat. Iye, seperti yang tersedia maklum, tugas seorang guru bukan lagi hanya mengajar, tetapi buat clerical work skali.

2. Facebook kena block. WTF? Kite kan hidup bermasyarakat. Macam mana kite nak menghubungi sesame lain dan mengetahui perkembangan semasa kan?kan?kan?

3. Arahan mengatakan kena berjimat cermat semasa print. WTF$%^&*833945^$%#)(*%$#%^WTF!!!!! Ini memang nak marah. Semenjak duduk dalam opis baru nie, boleh kire la baper kerat aku print. In fact, RM pon tak terprint lagi. Yang sebuk print nye manusia2 yang beeeeezzzzzzzzz sesangat itu.(manusia sama yang telah menghancuskan komp Miss FB di saat yang amat crucial and critical sampai Miss FB teriak a.k.a nanges). Xsampai selang 2-3 hari dah ambik ketas baru. Kerana manusia2 itu, orang lain terkena tempias..WTF!!!Aish..

4. Bebudak DSB1 yang perasan yang dorg tue bakal arkitek and think they can berlagak pandai with me!! Hello, setakat diploma tue toksah berangan tinggi arr.. (tiada niat to degrade anyone yang mempunyai diploma but only DSB 1 students)..Seriously, who they think they are? I have 7 other classes who can be respectful. Even my certificate students pandai respect orang. Walawei..bebulan posa buat aku sakit hati.

So ini adalah perkara2 yang membuatkan Miss FB angin ja...16 hari sebelum pulang ke kampung halaman terchenta.. Hopefully, no more incidents yang mcm itue kan pas nie..Chill Miss FB...

BerSyukuR

2009-08-26T03:47:00.000-07:00

Miss FB bersyukur kerana:

=Induksi nak habeh dah (walaupon die malas nak balik Merlimau)

=Walaupon dia xdapat ramai kawan (sebab dia mengisolatekan diri macam biasa) ada juga la dapat 2-3 kawan yang banyak membantu. Contohnya Liza yang suruh Miss FB print asimen kat printer dia. Bella xpayah lah citer...She's my not so old friend who have been helping me much. If not for her, i'm defenitely Thomas Wilson, the recluse from The Lotus Eater

=Walaupon dia marah sangat2 kat penceramah yang kononnya kaunselor panggil orang mamak nie DKK=darah keturunan keling (WTF) tapi tidak menukarkan diri kepada Incredible Hulk sebab die menganggap penceramah tue BODOH(hah,kan dah kurang pahala pose)

=Walaupon xdapat nak balik lagi ke kampong halaman dan berpuasa bersama kakak ku Atom dan ayahku PakCik Maidin yang terchenta, die masih bergayut lama2 ngan dorang guna Celcom plan 5+1

=Walaupon selalu menganggap dirinya manusia paling xcomey,tapi bersyukur kerana masih boleh menunaikan puasa di bulan Ramadhan, masih boleh berkata-kata, masih boleh melihat (walupon agak rabun ;p ) masih boleh mendengar dan sewaktu dengannya. Kerana dia percaya pada sebaik-baik ciptaanNya

=Walaupon presentation Public Speaking induksi xbaper nak best, tapi skurang2nya tidak memalukan dirinya seperti yang biasa dilakukannya

=Walaupon balik Merlimau nie banyak kerja tapi dia akan melakukannya tanpa kompelin banyak2, tidak akan memperdulikan orang2 yang menyakitkan hatinya, bekerja bersungguh-sungguh supaya bos akan kesian dan rekomen dia balik ke utara. Amin

Banyak lagi yang Miss FB beryukur kepada Yang Maha Esa cuma....

Kengkadang Miss FB

lupa,

leka,

lalai dan

alpa.

WhAt Am I Ab0ut to dO...

2009-08-12T21:53:00.000-07:00

It's been a crazy few weeks. The craziest one for sure me attending the Puspanita dinner with my buddy Belle. It was a torture at first because i HATE protocols thingy..And not to mention when our number 'naik' for lucky draw, none of us went to take the big hamper..Silly kan? Hurm..I had a vivid imagination of me stumbling at the stage or making fool of myself..Aish...

I'm a big mess now..Literally ye..My room is one hell of a mess..Ntah bile dapat kemas. Moving to the fourth floor without a lift is a torture. I wonder when in this lifetime i can get use to it, and at least loose some weight in the process. For the past few days Belle and I walk to work. Arini punch card merah! One minute only.Adoi.. But it is not bad, walking..But might be needing a new shoes..Comfortable shoes.Might be getting some Bata's..Biarlah pesyen org tue pon. I just can't endure the aching on my heels..

I have a lot of classes to replace now. Ganti kelas masa cuti H1N1. And next week going for my induksi at Vistana Hotel KL. Hurm, if only gaji awal cket..hehe..For sure going to spend some money there. Penatnye pikir nk kena study n dengar ceramah for 2weeks. Alahai..

Not to mention the workload. I reaallly have problem with my RM..xtau n xpaham.. :( n i hate my work as the lab supervisor..Who on this earth thinks i can do a job taking care all the computers?I can't even take care of myself....

I feel so serabut. In mess. What i need now is more time.................

Shopping and Harry Potter

2009-07-25T07:52:00.000-07:00

Finally...dapat gak Miss FB tengok Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince..Thanks to Belle and Zatie, walaupun xminat tapi sudi menemaniku. And we went TV hunting. So in a day or two daptla TV baru kitorg tu..Darn, it is tiring. Macam mana nak pindah barang nie? Penat la naik tingkat 4. I knoe i need to loose a few pound here and there, but this is pure torture. I need four big muscled man to help me!!!

Aish...not to mention all the pulus gone into the drain.

Why am i attracted to those tortured souls??? Why?

Sampai Bila?

2009-07-23T23:32:00.000-07:00

I received this email from one of the 'supposed to be' the participant for our debate tournament. Unfortunately they have to withdraw 2 teams because of this rule- Please include one Bumiputra in your team.

Dear Miss Begum,
Kind greetings. We would like to express our deep regret for we will now not be able to participate for your inter college debate competition due to the bumiputera rule. We would also like to point out our unfortunate dissapointment in regards to this bumiputera rule. We assumed it was long pass the days where highschool teams held this positive discrimination rule. WE also cannot imagine teams that are hnadicapped in this situation such as KDU College, where there is a low minority of bumiputeras and thus expected to participate. It further suprised us that the theme seemed to be "1 MAlaysia". So moving forth on the theme, we feel this step taken to ensure 1 bumi in every team is sending us BACK to the times where people tolerated such decisions, we however, do not. We hope that the decision of including 1 bumi in every team is revised to include a fair participation.
Siron Pereira

Trust me when i said i was so depress after reading this. I hate the rule actually because i think it is discriminating. I am not a Bumiputra as well so i understand very well when every opportunity will be taken because i don't have that particular brand. Funny since both my parents were born and bred in Malaysia. Pakcik Maidin tak pernah pon jejak kaki kat India.

So, what should we do now? should we continue with this ridiculous rule until the end of this world? This is a debate competition. We want to promote to our children that we should not discriminate each other. We want our children to live in harmony regardless the race. We want our children to respect each other. What kind of message we are sending here?? Shouldn't every human being deserve the same right as the other?I'm not being political here.I just try to express my feeling regarding this matter. Some might think that it is a tiny lil thing. Who cares right?But i do..Anyone else?

Miss FB is apologising if you did not agree with me. This kind of thing have been troubling me ever since I was in high school...and only now I'm voicing it?

~

2009-07-21T22:07:00.001-07:00

if i just lay here
wud u lie here with me
and just look at the world... chasing cars-snow patrol

I'm tired of everything..Why can't things be as normal as it used to be?I'm scared of answering the phone. I know death is inevitable...but...

TGIF

2009-07-17T00:24:00.000-07:00

Finally..weekend!!What I really need now is a 12 hour sleep(yes)..eat McFlurry (tho semalam dah makan)..and read a new novel from Susan Elizabeth Phillip. What I don't want to do is to think about my classes, n how I'm going to teach them dictionary skills (LOL) when me myself is hopeless in it..and also thinking how im going to handle all the questions when Leen is not here for the next 2 weeks nie..Am i capable?..Big question mark..

This week me n Belle mmg dah mcm kaum Badwi. (betul kan?kaum yang suke berpindah randah tue?).. From Kak Abby's house, to Zati's house (which will be our house oso after this;tingkat 4 tue!!) and back to Kak Abby's house..And the most embarassing thing is that Kak Abby's mom did my laundry..wlupon cuci pakai machine, malu gak ah...hehe..Xsempat lah..Nway, pasnie aku tggu kak Abby beli karaoke, i nak test sore..

ah..I'm rambling kan..Just need to merapu for a while..~lalala~

Mahu Buat $$$

2009-07-14T20:29:00.000-07:00

I love to read and write. So why don't I combine my interest and make money from it?

So people of PMM yang rase die xmampu nak buat ulasan buku yang diminte oleh Dr Pengarah, sile hubungi saye.

Satu ulasan buku=RM10
=RM5 (jike disertakan buku)

And no..aku xmemain....

All the proceeds will help Miss FB to buy a much needed television.

Update: Apesal sape pon taknak bantu aku..i really need a teev okei.. aish..kena cari biznes baru??

Not the Time of the Month

2009-07-14T06:36:00.000-07:00

I am 25 but still have problem to talk with.....

someone's parents

someone who is older from me

the bosses

people with authority

and

with

guys

especially

this

one

particular

guy

Im a Pathethic loser...Until when i'll be a wimp?

I'm a Big Fat Loser....

this picture is a contradict of my feeling...

TaGGed

2009-07-11T21:59:00.000-07:00

Tagged by Teera....

Rules: use Google image to search the answers to the questions below. You must choose a picture from the first page of the results, and post it as your answer. After that tag 7 people.

(1) The age of my next birthday

(2) Place (s) i'd like to travel to

Kalau boleh this whole wide world la but if not i'll settle for this...

(3) Favourite food

This is why i don't think i can follow Dr Arshad's vision n mission of having all the staff in PMM super duper slimmer

(4) Favourite place

(5) Nicknames i've had

Ainul, Enoy, Ilah, Begum, Beg..and the latest one Fath...

(6) Favourite colour

(7) College major

8) Name of my love

(9) Hobby

(10) Bad habits

Daydreaming

Procastination

L.A.Z.Y

Spending MONEY!!!

(11) My wishlist

Posted away from Merlimau (back to north if possible)

New cellphone

A television

Money

Prince Charming

(12) And i'm tagging..

PuLeen

Belle

Naddy

Kak Ct

Kak DyLLa

Inas

Shows how bored i am during the weekend without a television and any means of transportation..

Saya Optimus Prime Menyeru Semua Makhluk Bumi Berkerjesame Dalam Memajukan dan Memartabatkan Bangsa Manusia

2009-07-08T20:05:00.000-07:00

I'm not a freak. I'm not a weirdo. But I really really LOVE Optimus Prime. Don't you think he is the coolest autobots?And he is a gentle (robot). Macho some more. He is compassionate. Gentle. He even died macholy. Aku nak cakap graceful but it doesn't fit him. He is just so macho. Manly. That what real man should be like. If only there is a human version of him. Aish..

And i Optimus Prime, sending this message to all.....

Now, i could not wait for this..jeng jeng...

And i Just realize i don't have anyone to watch it with..uargh..Y?Y?xde ke orang kat Merlimau nak bawak aku gi tgk Harry??huk huk...sob..sob...

2009-07-08T04:32:00.000-07:00

Wah...lamenye Miss FB xupdate..i've been a busy lil bee la..buzzing here and there. I've been attending four courses 4 d past few weeks. And i'm kinda tired these days. Lack of sleep?or just worrying to much? Anyway, let me just summarize all d courses k?

15-18 Jun 2009
Port Dickson, N9
Microsoft Access

Isn't just beautiful? I always wanted to work somewhere near the sea. It is so peaceful just to listen to the sound of waves and sitting there looking at the water. Hurm..But, unfortunately, i'm stuck here at this godforsaken palm estate. Don't like it even a bit.

The course was ok. Enjoy it in fact!Iyelah, I'll admit i'm not good when it comes to IT stuffs. But suprisingly, i did good. Hurm, I do have some talent after all..hehe.

20-21 Jun 2009

Damansara
The Right Sound

Me and Leen..Lagu Black & White MJ memang seswai utk kami 2..heh

Whoa..haven't realize that i've been saying words wrongly all these years! Shows how ignorant i was, eh?Went there with Hazelen and sempat berjumpe kawan lame, Jemah kat OU. Kind creepy when we have to stay at a place called Romeo Inn Hotel. IIeeww..

22-23 Jun 2009

Politeknik Merlimau (bleargh)

Bengkel Pemurnian FRP

Haha..obviously the most boring one la!!

30 Jun-3 Julai 2009

Kuala Lumpur

Effective Presentation Skill

Sadly to say my presentation skill did not improve at all upon returning from the course.. Quite boring as well. If not for the cute guy from PSAS, lalala~

At this moment, all the midgets in PMM JPA is working very hard for the debate competiton.Even yours truly is struggling with tonnes of workloads.But in a way,Ms FB xkisah. Y? Because all the work kinda make her forget all the silly problems with stupid peoples. For a while. Not entirely forget ok.

Talking about stupid people, seriouly? Y can't u just be honest and say directly to my face (or Bella's) that u r moving out from this house?Seriously, it seems a little bit cowardly la in my way of thinking.. At first aku xkisah sangat sebab Miss FB dah dinasihati oleh Pakcik Maidin.And Miss FB memang dengar cakap Pakcik Maidin. But, her behavior macam intolerable la kan...Aish..ini membuatkan Miss FB makin teruja untuk get the hell out from here.

I never realize that i'll be mising home so much.. Kalau nak dikire ayer mata Miss FB sejak di Merlimau ni, memang lebey dari cukup untuk buat hantaran meminang Puteri Gunung Ledang.Oleh itu, saya berharap induksi saya akan dapat dengan segera n saya boleh memulakan urusan penukaran pada hujung tahun ini.Amin. Wishful thinking?Maybe. Tapi xsalah berharap dan berusaha kan?

Next week dah start class. Agak nervous actually.Iyelah. No more taking over classes from someone else. I'm teaching the semester 1 students. Nk kena wat garang2 cket..hehe. Insya Allah, segala proses pengajaran dan pembelajaran berjalan dgn lancar. Amin.

Well, banyak dah merapu..Till then~

~

2009-06-18T18:45:00.001-07:00

Argh..sampai je Merlimau terus ada masalah!! What the ****??

~

2009-06-13T00:43:00.001-07:00

Having a terrible headache n c0uld n0t c0me out with a title..off to PD next week.seri0usly xde m0od.huhu.
Im updating my bl0g using my cellph0ne.. pathetic.al0ne n a l0nely weekend. Just finish prangatkan sambal ikan bilis dlm tin 4 lunch. D0uble pathetic.

P/s:Echipsey,i kn0e i've been a lil overdramatic in my last entry. C0uld n0t help it.i'm dat kind of pers0n;-)
:Inas,blaja btul2 camne nk wat kek.

Pissed Off

2009-06-10T17:20:00.000-07:00

I really hate it here. I know it sounds childish..but i don't care!! I REALY REALLY hate it here..

This week has been disappointing. And it is not even Friday yet! I cried like a baby twice this week. Memang huduh la.But what else can i do? I feel so lonely. It feels like I'm the only one occupying this planet. Or maybe i'm not even here.

Yesterday event was terrible. When she said she gave in for my sake, i was like, WTF? Wasn't I supposed to go at the first place. Couple months ago, when we were filling the form, who's name was in it?So why everything have been synchronized as in I was to be blame. Pardon me if I was obvious in showing my distress and 'kebengangan'. I'm just tired being treat like a dirt, as if the very breath i exhale is polluted. Was i selfish?If I do, please do tell me..

really

hate

here

It's a pity that my first working environment sucks.

I really want to go home, or least work somewhere closer to my family.

I'm suffocating in my own thoughts.

i'm drowning in my loneliness.

Lonely.

Inas, aku tau u will get mad at me for this entry. Sorry, i just need to wallow in my self pity.

Minggu nie all the bosses is not in. Minggu punch tuk kawan2. I don't mind. If live closer, i'll definitely do the same!! Instead of coming to office and playing games, I better stayed at home and do all the mounting laundries.

The administration of Polytechnic Merlimau sucks!!Ptui....

Back...

2009-06-08T20:36:00.000-07:00

I'm back at this godforsaken place :( i know, i know.. I should at least give a credit to this place but at this moment i could not find any good thing about this place (or the people as the matter of fact)Banyak yang buruk lah dari baiknye..

Well, enuf about this place..

Lets talk about my 8days off..I went back to Tepeng with a night bus. Sejuknye..Burrr..I spent mostly of my time at home, spending time with PakCik Maidin n my sister..And of coz shopping and watching movies..Xsempat jumpe sesapon except at Linda's wedding. Went there with the usual comrades; Inas, Ayu and Dayah. Pepon, Selamat Pengantin Baru Linda, semoga perkahwinan mu kekal ke anak cucu.. Hehe..i couldn't imagine her pregnant!!

Bersame pengantin baru dan rakan2 Miss FB iaitu Inas n Ayu. Tiada dalam gambar Dayah n her new beau.Xpelah, die xbaca blog aku pon. Xkecik ati kot..hehe

Mesti orang2 kat Tepeng Sentral ingat Miss FB xde keje..Hehe..Apepon Miss FB nak lepas gian cuz da lama tak tengok wayang..adela kat 2bulan. Dah xde sape nak temankan Miss FB kat cni.Huhu..And the important fact is that everytime I walk out from the cineplex, i fell in lurrvvee..hehe.

Doesn't matter that he is half human

Doesn't matter that he is the bad guy

Doesn't matter that he has a pointy ears

What matter most is that they all are HOT ..hehehe.

I really love the new Star Trek. macam nak tgk lagi skali. Tapi dah balik sini sape nak bawak?

Sekembalinye Miss FB ke opis, die terkejut la plak..it feels like a graveyard here..Ramai plak yang takde including the bosses.Nak buat karaoke ke dangdut ke mesti lepas..

Criusly, I feel like banging my head at the wall..

I also feel so lonely these days. Even though there are people around me. Why?

And i really dislike this one particular person..Urgh..

Miss FB baru balik dari Jasin..makan KFC. Naik Keta Stream pinjam Letchumi..hehe..Brase 'perak' cket naik keta besau neh ;-p

Monday Blues

2009-05-24T21:42:00.000-07:00

I feel so lazy today. I'm a lazy person but today I'm lazier than usual.And my head kept spinning around.. Malas nye nak wat statistik ni. Dahla Math SPM lulus biase je..numbers is my enemy, except for money la kan..Erm, talking bout money, it's pay day today.I still haven't check my account yet. Hopefully, i will get my pay this month. Dahla nak balik Tepen this week and all plans has been made. Kalu xdapat gaji, for sure Miss FB terjun bangunan.
My weekend was quite productive. Guess what i did? For the very first time, i went for a cooking class! We went to Kolej Komuniti Jasin and paid only RM10. And +++, the chef was super duper hot.hehe.Itu yang productivenyer..Besides that, we went to Astana Moda, looking for baju raye.. We plan to go again tomoro cuz the sale started from 26/5-14/6...Hurm..mesti macam ayer je $$ Miss FB abey nanti.
And today, Leen and i wore the same baju kurung!!

Today thoughts::Miss FB nak minta tukau balik secepat mungkin ke kampung halaman. Is it possible?

Update:Gaji aku xmasyuk lagi ;( Bangunan mane paling tinggi kat PMM ni??

Late at night Part 2

2009-05-20T08:31:00.001-07:00

I'm still here..Dah tak larat wat keje..Waiting for them to finish up..Miss FB needs her beauty sleeps la wei...

Gambo comey ini hasil sahabatku Venus Gal..yes..i'm homesick....

poker face

2009-05-10T06:53:00.000-07:00

It's been 6 weeks now. For some reason i'm still standing and breathing. hehe. I'm still having backache after standing for hours furing the convocation days. It was a horrible week. Started with i do not own a blazer and manusia manusia mcm sh^t membingitkan telinga dan menghangatkan hati Miss FB yang fragile ini.. Nak buat macam mane. Aku kan P.H.A.T..Mane nak pinjam blazer yang size aku ni.. Grr.. Nasib aku pandai wat poker face...

Minggu ini juga membuatkan Miss FB sudah master in cursing and swearing and i'm sure by the time i leave Merlimau for good, i can sell a dictionary on fuc*ing.
Aish. I just realize I'm not getting good but a lot worse than before. Mulut pun..kalau PakCik Maidin dengar mau dicilinye.huhu.

Do I like it here?
No.
Y?
Macam sial.
Y?
I just don't like it ok!

Anyway, i do have some good friends here. Nak sebut name? Well Kak Fid, Kak As. Zati@Letchumi, Yani(i call her Ma cuz i said i want her to be my stepmother..hehe.simpangkan lah :) ), also my huhaha new friend Fazila@Arabella. hehe. i still love name calling. Ape agaknye orang panggil aku?haha..But at this moment i asked them to call me Baby..hehe.(poyo gile) Anyway, best kawan ngan mereka2 ini. Don't have any pics yet cuz didn't bring my cam from taiping..They are very helpful to me. Iyelah, Miss FB ni kan agak clumsy, clueless, lembab etc...

Talking bout Taiping, a couple of weeks ago, ayahku terchenta called and start to talk about marriage.And Miss FB started to freak out. I'm not ready for it yet. I rather be an old maid than marrying someone just for the sake of not being andartu.huh!
At this moment i'm totally broke. One of the 'funny' things happened this month is me alone didn't get my pay this month.Lawak x?Macam sh^t la wei..aku sorang tak dapat..Memang la bulan ni dpt bergande, hutang pon bergande lah!!!

Well.It's already 10.40pm. My stomach is grumbling. Today me and Arabella cook for the first. Elok nak goreng keropok petang tuh, gas plak abey. Wa la wei.baru jek nak rajin. We came to office with our Head of Unit.. Nampak cam Pn S banyak keje..bile boleh balik?? hehe..tak kisah pon..aku pon lame tak jumpe computer yang ade tenet..muahaha....Aish..I wonder whether I will have the guts to drive myself?? I need to control my fear instead of the other way around.

Aish..dah lame x merapu..Better start doing my PB..hehe..

P/S: I would like to wish Happy Mother's Day to my beloved Dad. Y??Because he heve been a wonderful MOM n DAD to me for the past 9 years. I Heart You Atta..hehe
P/S: I miss my Mom..aish..to tell the truth, i dreaded this day.

so many thing , so little time..

2009-04-16T19:40:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately, i still do not have a table, a computer, internet connections and segale macam..What i have is a lot of classes, things to do..etc. Nak update blog pon terpakse menumpang kasih orang a.k.a buat muka x malu minjam org nye comp..
This is my third week here. n i already lost interest in everything..~sigh~ I vowed to myself before to accept everything that The Almighty have given me. I even welcomed boredom. But now, i need some spices. I want adventures, betrayal, and basically anything to make me feel alive. (cuz at this moment i'm not). I'm still searching for the purpose...
and i'm definitely rambling eh?
Lots of thing to tell but i'm still having a writer's block. It is getting pronounced day by day. I lost the only little talent i have, that is to write :(

p/s: Went for a new staff induction n guess what one of the thing that a goverment servant should not do??
To blog...hurm~~~

saya mahu pulang..

2009-04-01T19:16:00.000-07:00

civilization..
finally found a computer with internet connection..i seriously want to go home... i doubted every second i'm here.maybe i should stick being a teacher..i could hardly understand what they were saying.
daddy, aku mahu pulang!!!

2009-03-19T07:07:00.000-07:00

Some people asked me whether I'm happy with my posting?

Some people laugh.

Some people said i will be happy.

I honestly do not know what to think~

Boleh tak saya angkut pakcik Maidin bersama saya?

Finally

2009-03-14T15:05:00.000-07:00

The long wait has finally came to the end. The letter i've been waiting for the last 7 months has finally arrived in style. (pos laju ;p)
I was quite shock..To be honest, i did make some list. List of place i want to be and not want to be. I was thinking that if i can't be posted at Perak or Kedah, then can i be placed at Sabah or Sarawak?
Well,
The place i've been posted to is not in any list... never crossed my twisted mind even...

jeng
jeng
jeng...

Yeah!!
Malacca bebeh..Bandar Bersejarah. Even the UNESCO approved it ok!
So, how do i feel?? Let's save it for the next post.

Saya telah di 'tagged' ;)

2009-03-14T14:38:00.000-07:00

1. Describe your self in THREE words.
2. If you see a hot man/lady..what do you do?
3. If you have RM 100 what is the first thing you buy?
4. If you are given the chance to have lunch with a famous person, who would that be?
5. If you are stranded alone on the MOON, what is the THREE things you must have with you?
6. By using PAINT (a simple software where you can draw) draw your self having a good time. (draw and save and publish it in ur blog......)

My very first tagged!!(haha..ciannye die)
1. Silly, Clumsy n P.H.A.T (wo0ho0p)
2. Dro0l..yea bebeh..
3. Bo0ks..(all SEP novels)
4.Ano0pdoG...hehe..
5.Air, Air, Air...in that order
6. i don't draw...at all..na ah..

Hey, i got to tagged someone!

2009-03-14T14:19:00.000-07:00

It started with me.

Then my dad.

Then my sister.

Then it's me again.

Damn cold n flu~

2009-03-06T18:10:00.000-08:00

I'm facing another crossroad in my life...

Which path to choose?

Who's heart to 'jaga'?

~Tidbits~

:AnoopDog in da house!!! (I nearly got a heart palpalation when the judges picked Tatiana for the wildcard.bleargh...)Top13 baybeh..kalu kat mesia ni bley vote, i'll certainly, surely vote for U ANOOP!!(i'm a reality show freak these days)...

:I just realize that i do have good friends...I do need to be more gratefull in my life.

First Chapter

2009-02-28T22:31:00.000-08:00

What do one writes on their first entry?? I really miss my Friendster Blog but i've decided to move on so moving on i am now..haha..(macam sial je ayat!!)
i don't think i have anything to say at this moment.Hopefully this blog will continue to stay alive. I'm ashamed to say this but i'd opened 2 blogs before this but never writes anything on it. This time around, i'm more prepared. I intend to stay long here, writing my ramblings, musings, stories, heartache, headaches and God knows what else.
Well Miss FB, till then...